Showing posts with label Inspired. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Inspired. Show all posts

Thursday, May 24, 2018

Survivors


Scene 1

It was early evening. Dark skies about to burst rain any time. He had the urge to reach to his home, before it started to rain. 

He was restless. Impatient and edgy.

The rocky knoll, where he was standing was still hot with the afternoon sun. He needed to reach the other side. The knoll had lots of thorny bushes and he must be watchful where he was setting his foot.

He heard some rustling sound. His sixth sense said, there is some danger nearby. The smell of the humid air, had a tinge of putrefying blood.  He could sense that the animal is going to charge towards him in the next one or two steps. The big dotted one!

He was getting angry. The animal was blocking his way to his home. He had lost few of his family members to the wild animals recently. Including his child born during last summer. He felt sad, as the memories flashed - of putting the remains of the child half eaten by the big dotted one, to rest.

The anger grew up to a full rage. His body tightened and the breathing became fast and heavy. His fist tightened to an iron grip. He could hear the growl and more rustling of leaves.

In a flash, the yellow colour of the big dotted one, leapt towards him from the high ground.

“Whack”

The club landed exactly on the side of the head of the big dotted one. The momentum of the leap along with the sudden hit, made the big dotted one to lose balance and fall with its face down on the rock. He ran behind, and landed another big blow, breaking the spine of the big dotted one. 

Big dotted one tried to fight back – clawing its paws in the air. He was determined. His rage was uncontrollable. He kept hitting until the growl turned to a whimper and ended with just spasms.

By the time he reached home, rain started to pour in thick and heavy.  He ran into his home and could see that his wife and kids were all cuddled together tight, sitting in the corner.

He could not see his other clan folks. His wife was relieved to see him and ran towards him, leaving the baby down. She must have also heard the growl. She saw the blood stains, some minor injuries and the frayed club.

She wanted to say something. But she could not.
He wanted to say something. But he could not.

Because language was not invented by then. The year was 10,000 BC. All they did was embrace each other.

Peace.

Scene 2
Rampal held his pike tight. Anxious, fearful. He was uttering a silent prayer and looked around. His cousin Kishan was also muttering something. Tried hard to hear what he was saying. It turned out to be a filthy curse.

Rampal could even smile, when the raiders can turn up any time.

The village elders had warned. Every fourth or fifth generation, it was repeating.  The wealth of the five rivers, created lot of animosity and jealousy with the desert dwellers. They rallied young clansmen, created an army and march towards the land of five rivers, to plunder. The promise of wealth, food and women never failed to turn on youngsters.

The raiders were relentless.

This time the villagers had advance information through the herdsmen. They could see the scouts of the desert dwellers hiding in a bush in the knoll. The herdsmen raised the alarm to the village elder, informing about the scouts in the hills trying to reconnaissance the village. 

If the scouts go back to the desert men across the river, then their army will certainly land in. Humiliation to their clan women, loss of relatives and friends. The village is as good as gone. The face of young Bano came to his mind.

The Village elder quickly raised a small group of men to deal with the desert army’s scouts and sent them to the hills with the instruction, Never let them escape.
 
The leader of the scout was not aware of the ambush in-waiting. He and his fellow men, scanned the perimeter and they crossed the small patch of open area in the hill, overlooking the village. They will camp tonight in the shades of the bushes, eating their last remnants of the goat meat and the flat bread they had packed with them two days back.

After a while...
 
The scout leader gave an expression of surprise when he saw Rampal. A fearful villager with wide eyes and open mouth. The villager was about to say something.
Rampal was equally surprised. The scout leader was well over 6 ½ feet, broadly built and tanned. If the scout party escapes, that is the end of his village. He had heard of scary stories from the village elder,who kept reminding him of the atrocities of the desert men.

The scout leader then, saw the pike in the villager’s hand. He was too close to the villager. He reached for his short dagger in his waist band.

No one spoke anything.
Rampal drove the pike straight to the heart of the scout leader and let out a war cry. Kishan and the other villagers joined in soon. The scout party did not anticipate the ambush. They could see their leader falling down in slow motion, hand still waving the dagger in the air.

They quickly went on high alert and started to engage the villagers. For the next few minutes – metals clanged, blood spurt out of wounds, verbal abuses thrown on each other and cries of pain were heard in a cacophony of languages.

Rampal’s hands were trembling. Everything happened around was so swift. He was not prepared for this. He never saw such a mayhem. 

He and another injured scout - The last men standing.

Rest of all the party had killed each other. Blood flowing down the rocks. Badly injured men slithering in their own fluids, mumbling and trembling. They wished they died sooner.

Rampal still had his pike in hand. The scout had a sword in his hand. Both men were trembling. Fear, rage, not sure.

The scout said something in his language that sounded like let me go. I will not harm you.

Rampal did not say anything. He was seeing deep into the dark eyes of the scout, anticipating his every move. Muscles tensed up. Few more minutes passed. The scout was also not lowering his sword. Stalemate.

Rampal wanted to puke. He was overwhelmingly emotional to see his friends dead and half dead. Kishan’s life was about to leave his body. In the middle of spasms, Kishan was asking for water feebly. All Rampal could do was cry.

The scout saw Rampal’s dilemma. But he was not sure, if he should lower guard.

For a moment, Rampal got distracted. The salt of his sweat got in to his eyes. He wanted to wipe.
The scout charged at Rampal with a battle cry, sword held at his hip level, forward.

How Rampal moved, he could not understand. The Kabaddi reflex he gained while playing with his dead friends?

He quickly moved away from the line of charge, swung his hip and shoved the pike towards the charging scout.
The scout lost balance, fell face forward cutting himself with his own sword across his stomach, in the melee.

What Rampal saw was, the scout on the ground, writhing and trying to get up. He lifted his pike and gripped it hard.The scout slowly turned around. He still had the sword in his hand. He was clutching something with his other hand.

Rampal was horrified. “I can not fight him if he has two swords.“ I have been barely trained few days back.

Then he saw. The scout holding his intestines that had popped out through the cut in the stomach. He was not bleeding much though. The scout was holding his stomach, either out of pain or  reflexively. The scout bent down and saw his own condition.

The scout waved his sword angrily. Muttered something in a different language, which Rampal presumed to be an abuse.

Rampal held his pike tight. Should I fight him or should I wait for the next move? 

Rampal felt nauseous. The earth was spinning around him.Rampal wanted to sit down and pee.

The scout tried to stand up, but the pain was coming in big waves. He remembered disemboweling few villagers earlier. Few of them had survived a day or two before dying finally, on their own. He did not want to die in pain like this. He did not recall any other injuries in his body. Can he reach to the horse tied up, down the hill on his own? The medic in the base camp, can probably stitch him up to survive another day.

He needs to put an end to this villager. He is the last man standing. The scout waved his sword to the villager.

The scout was injured but he did not seem to be affected much. Bloody desert warriors.

The scout yelled in his language – “Come fight like a man. You dirty @##$#$ @#%%el . I will @#$@ your family”
Rampal heard something like Bano , and the scout was showing action with his sword, what he will do with Bano.

Rampal was enraged. He charged forward.
The scout was expecting this. He raised his sword and swung hard.

 “Whack”

Rampal was lying on the ground. The blood was warm and gushing through the wounds and it was smelly. He remembered the face of Bano before passing out.

Bano’s face was up close. Rampal was looking to his right and left. Searching for the scout and his pike. It was his home in the village. Bano was wiping him with hot water “You are a hero now. The second team of villagers found you all. Only you had survived. The village elder is proud of his son in law”.

Rampal did not say anything.

She hugged him. He was aroused with the relief. The nameless, faceless genes of his ancestor in the Scene-1 woke up in Rampal’s body and smiled. 

Sambogh time.

Scene 3

His residence was on the hill top. Overlooking the Arabian Sea. The view of the glimmering sea was something, he always enjoyed, whenever he was stressed out with one or the other event. Those were the days.

Roy took his revolver. He had decided long back how to end this. Referred to Internet for the forensics report of US homicides. Plus his own police department files.

He knew the best position and the place to discharge his weapon. He set the safety catch off. Pulled the trigger. The angry hammer released with a pretty loud Click.

With a wry smile, satisfied with the dry run, he took the mobile phone camera, put it on video mode. Adjusted the camera angle and the settings.

He looked around. He saw all his awards, medals, family photograph. It meant nothing. Nothing!

The emptiness of his mind was eating him alive - day in and day out. His best days were behind him.
 
With the habits of an organized officer, leader of the Delivered his final speech towards the camera in short and crisp language, holding no one responsible for his death and thanking his doctors and his wife for fighting along with him.

While the camera was still running, loaded the revolver, without much thinking (what is there to think now?), took a deep breath, adjusted his back rest, sat deep in his chair, placed the revolver close to his face, and …

The barrel was cold. The AC was humming. The loud noise was what he heard last. A flash of light. 

Rampal and the unknown ancestor were nodding their head in disagreement, as their genes in Roy's blood was angrily bubbling out of the exit wound towards the carpeted floor.

They were saying in unison “tch.. tch.. Is this for what we survived all through? Fought all hardships that were thrown at us - war, famine, wild animals, disease in so many centuries? What you did was utterly wrong! Where did you lose your fighting spirit? You failed us!


Roy was looking at his ancestors nonchalantly with an expressionless face. Very dead.

Note
Inspired by Himanshu Roy. Om shanti.

Link below: 
https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/mumbai/himanshu-roy-former-mumbai-top-cop-commits-suicide/articleshow/64122715.cms

Sunday, August 07, 2016

memoirs

பெட்டி  திறக்கிறேன்.
பழைய புகைப்படங்கள்
இன்றும் புதிது போல்.

நினைவுகள்
பலதும் புகைபடிந்ததுபோல்.
 சிலவோ
படம் எடுப்பதற்கு
முன்னும் பின்னுமான
நிகழ்ச்சிகள் பளிச்சென
டிஜிட்டல் தரத்தில்

மாற்றங்கள் ஏராளம்
நண்பர் பலரும்
தலை முடி கொட்டி, நரைத்து
தொப்பை வளர்த்து குண்டடித்து

பலரும் உலகெங்கும் திரவியம் தேட
வெகு சிலர் பூவுலகும்  விட்டகர்ந்து

பழய படங்கள் வயதேற  ஏற  பொக்கிஷம்.

கடந்து வந்த பாதை
மறந்து போன பாதை
மறந்து போல பலர்
நெக்கி நெம்பி நினைவூட்ட
என மூழ்கிப்போகிறேன்.

அதிரடி
அவசர உலகில் இங்கு
ஆயிரம் சோலி  உண்டு

நினைவுகளுடன்
புகைப்படங்களையும்
மூடுகிறேன்.

மற்றும் ஒரு நாள்
மற்றும் ஒரு நேரம்
அமையும்.
புகைப்படங்களில்
யாரும் மாறுவதில்லை.

மிச்சாமி துக்கதம்.

இனிய நண்பர் தின வாழ்த்துக்கள்.

Wednesday, March 04, 2015

An ode to Lt. Cdr. Abhilash Tomy

Restless in the legs
I love the everyday's challenges
For what they bring up in life;
i embrace the survivor's strife.

 Why me, when there were so many?
Creator brought me up here so tiny
Here I am! To fulfill what holds the destiny.
I have set sail - a journey called life.

In the stillness of time,
Neither do I think of the future
Nor do I brood over the past.
The process of discovering what I am not
What has been told and sold
I challenge everything I tightly hold.

 Every notion and belief,
I have pushed it against a watery wall
A pack of cards, apart it fell
Notion or the wall?
It is your call.

 Tossed by the mighty fury of the ocean
The mind swept away by the rhythm of the waves -
Kindling, caressing and relentlessly pounding.
The boat that was my life -
In the hugeness of the ocean – is it a speck? A shard?

 Soaked in the elements of Nature;
Submerged in the bliss of the Self
The oceans have rewarded its treasure
To the Explorer -who sacrificed all the petty pleasures.

I set sail, in a boat in high seas
I returned, with the oceans within me.
My experience, for you I sum up

Raise the sails
Catch the winds
Ride the waves
Go explore yourself!

For you are the oceans
You are the winds
You are the Creator
Of your own Universe.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

urban buffaloes

மாநகர  எருமைகள்

இயர்போனால்  காதடைத்து
புறச்சூழல் பிரக்ஞை அற்று
முற்றும்  துறந்தவை  போல்
மோன  நிலையில்
தலையாட்டலுடன்

மாநகர  எருமை
அதும்போக்கில்
தெருவை  அடைத்துக்
கடக்குது ..


தலை  தொங்கப்போட்டு
செல்போன்  திரையில்
விரல் விளையாட்டு

நடுத்தெருவொ,
விரைவு  ரயிலடியோ ..
மாநகர  எருமைகளுக்கு
சமூக  வலைதளங்களில்
அடுத்த  கணம்
உலகம்
முடியும்  முன்
லைக்கும் ஷாரும்
வாங்கணும் ..

விரையும்  வாகனங்கள்
விலகிச்  செல்லும்
வசை மொழிகள்
ஆரன் வழியே
வழிய  விட்டு ..

மாநகர  எருமைகளே!
கூகிள்  கிளாஸ்  ஒன்று
வருதாம் .

மேற்  குத்திய  விழிகளுடன்
ok google என்றியம்பி
இரு  கால்  எருமைகள்
தலைகுப்புற  விழும்  முன் ..

அய்யா  கூகுளே !
சற்றே  அவதானியுங்கள்.

உடைந்த முன்பல்லும்
நசுங்கிய  பிட்டமுடன்
எருமைகள்  அவதரிக்கும்  முன்
சாலை  கடக்கும்  app
ஒன்றும்
விரைவில் கொண்டு  வாரும் .. 

Monday, August 18, 2014

Habit of Behaviorrors

During one of the early morning flights out of Mumbai, There was a huge queue at the check-in counter of the budget airlines, on which I was traveling.

On enquiring, I was told by the Airlines staff that the systems are down. Hence, there will be delay in checking in.

Systems down? How is this possible?” was the first thing popped up in my mind.

This note is exactly what went through my mind, and what I observed during the waiting period in the queue.


  1. BEHAVIORROR
Behaviorror is the behavior of errors.

Any system to fail completely needs to have the errors/mistakes/defects repeated consistently over a period of time. The errors/mistakes/defects are often over looked, not observed, not monitored, not rectified and the compounding effect of it results in total systemic failure.

I am sure any airline MUST have sufficient redundancies at the infrastructure level – hardware, software, networking and all the connecting dots in between.

If things still fail, then the systems/processes created to ensure a high availability environment is clearly not adequate.

In the highly competitive airlines industry, it clearly leads to customers dissatisfaction and loyalty attrition. And gain of customers to the competition. Double whammy!

A large system will not crumble, with just one or two errors. It takes a whole lot of time and repetitions for the systems to degrade and finally collapse.

Remember the Titanic? It did not sink like stone in water. It took really lot of time for the water power to over come the forces of buoyancy of the ship.

What safe guards does the management create to watch for errors happening consistently as a behavior?

Does the airline management have the mechanism in place to ‘see’ and ‘observe’ behaviorrors?


2. "Tell me Jack – what do you do?

The above line is how Dennis Hopper taunts Keanu Reaves in the movie “Speed”.

When the systems were down, the staff members were all tensed up. Each counter, had a queue depth of 10-12 passengers.

The senior staffers were firing instructions to the young counter staff.

Much of the counter staff looked fresh in the job and they did not exhibit confidence. They did not have eye contact with the customers. Instead they were just staring at their console screens. The smile was forgotten!

Did the airline prepare their employees for such eventualities? I bet, no!

If they had been trained, then the employees would have handled the problems with confidence – as stated in their Standard Operating Plan manual.

Even if they were trained, it had not been reinforced in to their behavior, while responding to such crunch situations.

Net result, unsmiling, grim and anxious employees who broke every rule of their service manual – an obvious behaviorror.

3. Course Correction – not only for pilots

If things are going right, who is the one in the hierarchy looks out for potential problems? Who foresees problems, before they happen? The Early Warning Signalist - the lead indicator?

Who plans for the contingencies - “what-if” scenarios and builds the Standard Operating Procedures accordingly to handle any kind of foreseeable problem?

Were they created by a non-descript person, seen as a theoretician who was never accepted by the ‘so-called practical ones’ in the Operations and Customer Service teams?

Was there a mechanism built for collective learning – with inputs from the field?

Any organization, whatever its vintage, in an ever changing marketplace, has to build in mechanism to cope with change – and course correct themselves.

This will ensure, transitions are responded with agility and in a much smoother manner.

Outdated and stiffer rules that has lost relevance also result in a behaviorror called “Dinosaurism” – collectively marching towards extinction.

4. Cultural conditioning that accepts change

That brought up the question - did the organization promote an open culture to accept ideas for improvisation from any where in the ranks - More so from the customer facing employees?

Because, the process what they followed when systems were down, were not smart enough.

The airline resorted to free seating. Even for customers who had pre-booked their seats through Tele/Web check-in, were denied at the boarding point.

I could see lot of frequent flyers, grumbling and visibly dissatisfied.

Thankfully none of the customers were in a mood to raise voice or fight.


5. What could the airline do?

  1. Failure proofing operations with the participation of all the departments
  2. Re-train employees in handling crunch situations.
  3. Standardize scripts to handle customers at the time of failures.
  4. Empower employees to take decisions appropriate to their level of hierarchy. A senior employee should not interfere in junior level decisions and vice versa. There should be clear demarcation of who takes what decisions at every level of hierarchy, when responding to crisis and it should be weaved into their SOP Manual.
The boarding was delayed by over 30 minutes. Consequentially, the flight push back and the arrival at the destination were delayed by over 40 minutes.

The incident *spiced* up the grey cells, to write it up for everyone’s benefit.

The views in this article are strictly the personal opinion of the author

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

பாரத கனா

பாரத கனா

வளைகோல் வலுவிழந்து
ஒரு குளிர்கால  இரவின்
உஷ்ணத்திற்கு உணவானது.

புயலென ஓடிய காலணிகள்
தேய்ந்து தூக்கி
எறிந்தாயிற்று!

ஆட்டத்தில்
 குடம் குடமாய்
வியர்வை உறிஞ்சிய
ஆடைகள் இற்றுப் போயின!

தேசிய விளையாட்டில்
சாதனைகள் பல படைத்த
தாத்தா தூசுப்
போர்வையின் பின்
கிரிக்கட்டு  விளையாடும்
குழந்தைகளை
இமைக்காது பார்க்கிறார்

மெதுவே
காற்றில் ஆடி ஆடி
மிதந்து வந்து
தாத்தா மேல் அமர்கிறது
ஒரு பழுத்த  ஆலிலை.

Friday, June 13, 2014

LIP - LIVE In Peace

One quick question:

How many Likes did you post in FB, last week?
How many birthdays did you wish in Facebook?
Can you remember the date of few of the friends who celebrated last week?
Did you put in all the care and attention while liking or wishing? If so, for how many people and how many times?

Hypothesis 1: 

Social interactions have become superficial engagement using the brain's short term memory store ONLY. Every day, the memory is flushed clean.

None of the engagement goes in for long term storage. The percolation from short term to long term memory just does not happen! 

No one will know how time passed and what was really accomplished in the interaction.

It is akin to watching a comedy crapper movie, laughing the a*s off and just forgetting the movie even before one leaves the hall.

Hypothesis 2:

More one interacts on social media, hollower the relationships become.

Superficial dialogue, superficial interaction, superficial lifestyle and a superficial personality with behaviors that change with season, time and fashion - hollow and empty.

As long as one has quantity over quality, the loss of real relationships will not be realized at all.


Hypothesis 3:

Relationships need to be nurtured much like Agriculture. ("what/where you sow is what/where you reap"). Long term relationships take time to nurture, take time to build.

Real, physical world relationships compete with social media for the same time and attention.

Hypothesis 4:

Sadly, social media won over real relationships, among most of the time. My 9 year old son mimicking his dad, is the double whammy. 

An undesirable inheritance from me to him - letting him Absorb 'bad behaviors' unmindful of him!


LIVE IN PEACE - LIP :: What am i going to do?

  1. Seek, scan and identify patterns of behavior that are not in sync with my personality. (I will get to the how part later).
  2. Destroy the rail roads that feed the habits/behaviors.
  3. Watch for the de-addiction pangs and withdrawal effects.
  4. Unwind the bad habits that have got into my behavioral system
  5. Release 'habits/behavioral patterns' that are present in my system, which are not in sync with my personality
  6. Strengthen and fortify the mind, to not let in the same behaviors again.
  7. Use the spare time, released from the behaviors with career focussing activities.
How?

  • Seek, scan and identify patterns of behavior that are not in sync with my personality.
Head bent, scanning the emails/messages every day - first thing in the morning and last thing in the night.

Not able to focus on a conversation, for more than 10 minutes, without getting the pang to check the phone. Big conversation and eye-contact breaker.

This i have never done, ten years back. 
  • Destroy the rail roads that feed the habits/behaviors.
Stay away from mobile phone, until i get to work.
Stay away from mobile phone, as soon as i get back home.
Stop checking mails every once in a while, (SMS is an exception).
Social media probably once in a week for 30 minutes. 

Remember the days of Internet access through dial up phones?
  • Watch for the de-addiction pangs and withdrawal effects.
Already, i have been hearing phantom rings, and beeps few times during the day.
Urge to react and respond to messages
Mind asking the curious question "how many people have responded to LIP post in Internet?" (To be honest , I did check once after 12 hours)
  • Unwind the bad habits that have got into my behavioral system
Will update when i get over - say 90 days. too long. I know it takes that long to do.
  • Release 'habits/behavioral patterns' that are present in my system, which are not in sync with my personality
I am yet to the see the "bad boys" pop out. Anyway, it is MY personal battle. May or may not share. :D
  • Strengthen and fortify the mind, to not let in the same behaviors again.
how ? how? how? NLP? EFT? Silva method? what mantra? which astra?
  • Use the spare time, released from the behaviors with enriching activities - (hobbies, learning, arts & craft, fitness ...)
I will diarize what all I did and will share.


Sunday, March 09, 2014

My first half marathon :: Lessons from an endurance sport

Half Marathon - Do I, Do I not?

Till the day preceding the run day, i was in dilemma should i or should i not.

Even though i had paid for the Thane Hiranandani Half Marathon organized to spread the awareness of Hockey - supposedly the national sport of India.

My training was not up to the mark; I had been working long hours in the preceding week; some outstation travel; plus the blood sugar levels after my new medication was not in good control (i am diabetic and on medication for the last 4 years plus a strict regimen of what i eat, when i eat and how i eat)

My wife accompanied me to the bib collection venue. My intention was to go pick up the goody bag along with the bib, and take rest on the Sunday. Why should I miss the opportunity to sleep longer on a wintry Sunday morning? 

My wife was prodding me -- just give it a shot. When i saw the energy levels of other runners, who had come for bib collection, i had decided -- to run!

Night before the run: 

The sleep was not sound.. There was palpable anxiety and i was tossing and turning in the bed, not getting good sleep.

BTW, i bought the proper running attire, only the night before the run.

The run day: 

Got up at 4.30 am. It was like any other day where i need to rush to catch an early morning flight out of Mumbai. Kitted up myself and i got out of home. Oh boy! there was lot of dew and it was brrrr.. cold.. 18 degrees Celsius?

Lots of runners from all over Mumbai, but not even a person whom i know were there.But the energy levels of the event was infectious. 

The run:
The run started at sharp six. First two kms were breeze. There were lots of runners -- young and old, novices and experienced athletes. Some 9000 of them.

Said to myself ** Slow down, slow down, it is an endurance race. that too a fairly long one** 

The first two kms i was doing at 7 minutes to a km - so far so good.

The road out of Hiranandani Estate Thane, was a steep ascent and it was told in advance that the terrain is not an even one. 

Run Strategy: Slow down when the road is climbing steep - perhaps even walk, and downhill course i MUST run, long strides to make use of the gravity, to propel forward.

** Lesson 1: Make best use of the environment. Use gravity when it is favourable to you.**

By the time i hit the 5km mark, i had been running for 31 minutes.

I had to constantly watch the pace, and slow down, as the tendency is to pick up pace (influence of other runners around) and I did not want to run out of breathe/energy..

Crossed the 7 km mark, in 46 minutes and I was getting into uncharted territory.

*** I am on my own. i have never done this distance in the last two decades **

The body was propelling in autonomous mode -- pace set by its own rhythm. Every runner has a sweet spot where the energy expended equals to the energy generated by the body. 

Somewhere around 9 kms the road started uphill again. (Upwan lake). It was getting difficult to maintain pace. Legs felt like they were made of lead. 

Had to cajole the body with rewards of walking 200 metres for reaching 7k mark.

In endurance sports, it is better to practice to separate the mind from the body.

With mounting pain, the mind keeps playing games -- stop, lets walk now. etc. Doggedly one needs to push the mind out of the way, and firmly command, just keep running.. Run, run and run.

*** It is me vs myself. Can you do it Vishy? Can you do it? ***

Reached the half way mark at exactly one hour and three minutes. Which means, i can finish the race in under two hours and fifteen minutes!! Real athletic performance. Hoorah!

The path became downhill and i was picking up pace.I was literally jubilant and so very positive. That was a moment of ecstasy leading to catharsis - breaking away of all kinds of mental barriers and super charged spirit shined through. I was never so positive!!

Km 14: There was this dull pain in the left knee (i injured the knee ten days back, when the foot slipped and the ankle twisted itself. The injury was what was keeping me away from training.) The pain was getting sharper.

Km 15: The pain was becoming unbearable. It was pinging every time i put weight on the left foot. I even stopped for a while to do some stretches.

Km 16: The downhill phase ended and the uphill started, lasting for another two kms at least.

I continued running, trying to shift the weight to my right foot and landing the left one softly. An awkward sight, but it gave some relief.

Meanwhile, the right thigh started to feel stiff as the weight shifting strategy started to work against it. Cramping started. 

I had to start walking now.. The left leg was getting to become unusable. Ram rod straight it was refusing to bend at the knee. pain pain and pain...

I was slowing down and looking at the watch helplessly as the pace started to slow down to 10 minutes to a km. I was running two hours straight. 18 kms covered. 3 more to go.

The road was rising steep. I had to really push the pain out of my mind and keep walking. People started to overtake in droves. Dang helpless situation!

The distance to finish placards said 2 kms. Can i finish in two hour twenty?? Started to run in downhill (or what seemed descent) pushing myself hard.

Suddenly, the next placard read 3 kms instead of one.. What is going on?? Was the 2km placard a gimmick?

The road went straight uphill.. Legs were crying, left knee was literally busted... i was sweating more.. How much more pain can i handle?

I was hopping around; pace as good as crawling.. doing one km at 12 minutes!

i had thought of making a dash in the last one km.. i will deal with my knee later on.. the focus is on finishing the race before 2 hr 30 mins.

1 km to go placard came twice; in gaps of 500 m!! i had accelerated after the first 1-km--to-finish placard, and the pain came back with a vengeance, pulling me back. Every meter of movement required tremendous effort.

i had to slow down, when every body else around me were revving up to the finish line.

limping limping limping..

i saw the placard - finish line around 500 meters away.. the mind wanted to run, accelerate. The body was just not doing it. it was resisting as much as it could. 

After much coaxing, cajoling, the body started to respond in the last 200 metres.. It was not blocking like it was doing between 14 to 20 kms. The pain vanished for an instance and i darted off.

The moment i crossed the finish line, i saw the clock -  2 hours 38 minutes.

Yesss!! i have done it.

The body was in writhing pain, especially the knee. The right side thigh now started to shiver and get into cramps.. 

The mind had stopped functioning. It was a tremendous victory of mind and the body - together. 

An indescribable peace, positivity and calm descended all over. 

For that feeling i will run 10 more marathons.

Valuable lessons from the marathon:

1. We are much more capable of doing more than what we think. Unless we try, we don't know what we can achieve. Trying is everything. The first step. i discovered long distance running when i was hitting 40 years in the calendar.

2. Use the situation to the advantage.I can not crib about the road going uphill. I need to make use of the downhill whenever it comes. 

3. Just hang on and keep going till i get the favorable environment.

4. Focus. My job is to run. Keep running. The moment i start to pay attention to all and sundry, the energy to run, drains off mysteriously. i focused on the run, pushed the pain behind, and i could finish. On any other day, i would not have limped for 7 straight kms.

4. Strategy -- Life is a long road. I need to have a plan to maintain pace and keep doing the necessary course correction every now and then. I may not have started with a great plan, but it does not stop me from creating one, en route, as the situation unfolds. 

5. It is always what i can do vs what i am. There is no tough competitor in the world other than one's own mind. The mind conceives, executes and even breaks down possibilities as impossibles! 

Win the mind, win everything else.


Friday, June 28, 2013

மேகம் போல நினைவுகள்

மேகம் போல நினைவுகள்
காலத்தால் மங்கி
இப்போவே
கரைந்து போவது போல்.

சில மேகங்கள்
வெகு தெளிவாக ..
நினைமாந்தர்
வாசனையும், குரல்களும்
வார்த்தைகளும், உணர்ச்சிகளின்
கலவையாக.

கடந்த கால நினைவுகள்
நிகழ்நிஜம் போல
மீண்டும் சிருஷ்டிப்பதும்
மேகங்களைத் தொட்டுப்
பிடிக்க முயல்வது போல
நிராசையாகவே முடிகிறது.

காலத்தால் மிருதுவாகி
மறைந்து காணாமல் போனவையும்
தினம் தினம் மங்கி மறையும்
நினைவு மேகங்களை எண்ணி(?)
யாரும் அழுவதில்லை.

ஏனெனில் அவரவர் வானம்  மிகப் பெரிசு.

புதுசு புதுசாக மேகங்களும்
அவ்வப்போது  இடி, மின்னலும்
நித்தம் ஒரு வானவில்லும் தந்து
வாழ்க்கையை சுவாரஸ்யப்படுத்திக் கொண்டே
இருக்கிறது
என் வானில்
என்றும் மறையாத
அனுபவ சூரியன்.

Monday, June 03, 2013

போதி மரம்

மெல்லிய
குளிர் வருடும்
அதிகாலை.

பூங்காவில்
பெயர் தெரியாத மரம்.
ஆனால், வாசம் மட்டும்
முப்பதடி பரப்பும்.

வெண்ணிற ஊதுகுழல்
நறுமண பூக்கள்,
கொட்டிக் கிடக்கும்
மரத்தடியிலும் பாதையிலும்
யாருக்காக?
இவ்வளவு?

பாதையின் அழுக்கிலும்
ஈரத்தில் மக்கி மறைந்தாலும்
வாசம் மட்டும் எஞ்சும்.
கெட்டாலும் மேன்மக்கள்...?

பூக்கள் ஆயுள்
மலர்ந்த பின்
ஒரு நாளோ இரு நாளோ?

ஆயினும் தினம் தினம்
மலர் சொரியும்.
பாதைக்கும்
மரம் கீழ் நிற்போர்/நடப்போர் மீதும் -
கோவில் தொடாத பூக்கள்.
கடவுள் தேடாத பூக்கள்.

பூ மேலே
 விழுந்ததும்
எச்சமோ என்ற அதிர்ச்சியில்
அவசரமாய் திட்டிவிட்டு
மரத்தடி விட்டு விலகுவோர்
வாடிக்கை / வேடிக்கை.
மரம் தென்றலின் தாலாட்டலில்
வாசம் வெகுதூரம் பரப்பி
மேலும் பூச்சொரியும்.

பூங்காவின் எந்த
அடையாளமுமற்று
இந்த கவிதையும்
மறைபொருள் கருத்தும்
கொடுத்த இந்த
பெயரில்லாத மரம்
எனக்கு
போதி மரம்.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

adukku maadi kudiyiruppu


அடுக்கு மாடி குடியிருப்பு

தாழிட்ட கதவு
திரைச் சீலையிட்டு
மூடி வைத்த ஜன்னல்கள்
world class premium
அடுக்கு மாடி குடியிருப்பு.

மூடி வைத்த வாழ்க்கையின்
புழுக்கத்தில் அழும் குழந்தைகள்.
வெய்யில் காயவும்
தென்றலுக்காகவும்.

குடியிருப்பில் குழந்தைகள்
விழி விரிய, 
பயமூட்டி, பயம் காட்டி
பூச்சாண்டி கதை பல சொல்லி வளர்க்கின்றார்.

ஆயினும் குழந்தைகள் சொல்லித் தராது கற்றவை
அடுத்த வீட்டு ஆதிசேஷனை  நம்பாதே 
அயல் நாட்டு ஆடோமேஷனை மட்டும் நம்பு. 
சப்பை மூக்கு மனிதருக்கு சப்பை மூக்கு நாயே மேல். 

ஆதரிக்க அயலாரின்றி 
அனாதையாய் 
அமெரிக்கன் மகள் /மகன் வரும் வரை 
ஐஸ் போட்டியில் காத்திருக்கிறார் 
என பத்திரிக்கைகள்  எழுதும். 

ஆனாலும் என்ன?
அடுத்த உலகத்திற்கு 
நான் கொண்டு செல்வேன் 
எல்லாமும், காதற்ற ஊசியும்* 
என எண்ணி எண்ணி 
அடுக்கி வைக்கிறார் 
ஏராளமான செல்வம். 

வாசலில் புன்னகையுடன் 
காத்திருப்போர் 
குழந்தைகளுக்காக கடவுளும் 
பெரியவர்களுக்காக யமனும். 

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Oh! Fish


ஏராளமான முட்கள்  வாயைச் சுற்றி. 

சில  முட்களில்  தூண்டிலிட்டவனின்
கலர் நூலும் உண்டு,
பாடமும் படிப்பித்தவனும் 
ஞாபகம் வைத்துக் கொள்ள  வசதியாய்.

பல முட்கள் 
எங்கே எப்படி மாட்டியவை 
என்று தெரியாது.

நூலும் இல்லை. 
தூண்டிலிட்டவனும் இல்லை. 
முட்கள் மட்டும் மிச்சம்.

நிதம் தோறும்  முட்கள்  தரும்  
ரண  வேதனை.

ஆயினும் அடுத்த வேளை 
பசியில் அற்ப மீனின் மூளைக்கு  
எட்டுவதில்லை 
முள்  மாட்டிய புழுவைக் கடிக்க கூடாதென்ற அனுபவம்.

பசிப்பிணி தீர்க்கும் போராட்டத்தில் 
வாயினால் ஊனுக்கு ஊணும்
ஊறும்  வருவிப்பது 
ஊழ் வினைப் பயனே என உரைப்பேன்.

Monday, November 08, 2010

superstar

விதி தூக்கி சென்றது
கனவில் எட்டாத உயரம்
ஆரம்ப கிறுகிறுப்பு பழகி
உயரம் உணரா உயரம்...

நான் ஒரு திகழும் நட்சத்திரம்
என்னைச் சுற்றும்
எனக்கு திகட்டி தவிர்க்கும்
விண்மீன் கூட்டம்.

நான் ஒரு நிகழ்கால அதிசயம்
தலை அசைப்பில் ஆயிரம் நிகழும்
பயம் மரியாதை எல்லாம்
என்னை கணிக்கதவரை
நான் கவனிக்காதவரை
சொல்லாத ஒரு வார்த்தைக்காக

சாலையில் என்னைப் பார்ப்பவர்
விழி விரியும்
இதயம் எகிறும்
பார்த்தவருக்கே பரவசம்
ஆண்டவனே என்பவரும் உண்டு.

சதா
வெளிச்சத்திற்கு மத்தியில்
ப்ரோடோகோல் போர்வையுள்

ஓடோடி நானும் தேடுகிறேன்
விடுதலையின் வழி
விடு தளையின் வழி
என்னுள் அகழ்கிறேன்
நான் வந்த காரணம்.

பொய்மை துறந்து
புறம் அவிழ்த்து
தவிப்பிர்க்கொரு தீர்ப்பு தேடி
நிர்வாணநா(யா)ய் அலைவேன்,
ஆர் கண்ணில் படாது
ஆயிரம் காதங்களுக்கப்பால்

புகழின் புழுக்கத்தில்
மறைந்து போனதென் நிர்வாணம்.

அறிவேன் நான்
விளக்கு விலக்கி
வேகமாய் ஓடும்
ஒரு வினோத விட்டில்.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Zero - revealed

While driving down Western Express Highway, (jan-1-2010), another sutra was revealed.

It just flashed, out of nowhere and the thought certainly grabs the attention. It is vivid and not yet another random thought. The source of thought. I dont know.

"Zero should be worshipped. It is beyond a number. The shape does not have a start, and it does not have an end. It is the symbolism of motherhood - from where everything comes from and goes back too. Zero symbolizes the Absolute and the Nothing at the same time.

Even mathematically, any no. trying to divide (or even multiply) zero gets zero as an answer, symbolizing its infinite nature. Infinity divided or multiplied by anything is still infinite.

Also, any number getting divided or multiplied by zero, leads to infinity, symbolizing the nothingness in it. Finite merging into infinite. Zero transforms the finite completely."

Meditation - I

22-November-2009:

During a visit to Siddhi Vinayak, a sutra was revealed to me,in a flash

Surrender unconditionally and completely to the Supreme

There is no past
There is no future
What do you have? NOW!
What have you got? EVERYTHING!

-- Revealed 22-nov-09 At siddhi vinayak

Sunday, March 28, 2010

நினைவுகளாய் காலம்..

நினைவுகளாய் காலம்..
வலியில் விழிக்கிறேன்
கண்ணீர் கழுவிச் செல்கிறது
கலந்த காலம்
கடந்த காலம்.

கனவு பட்டங்களில் பறக்கிறேன் -
நூலேணி நினைவுகள் நீளத்திற்கு.
கண்கள் பழகாத உயரத்திற்கு

விரையும் மேகங்கள்
சொல்லிச் செல்லும்
வருவது சுழல்காற்றுடன்
அடைமழை.

நூலேணி நினைவுகள்
நீள நீள
கனவு பட்டம்
தொட விழையும்
கருவானில்
ஒரு வானவில்.
-- விஷ்வேஷ்வரன்

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Noori Oh! Noori

சிநேகமாய் பார்த்துச் சிரிக்கிறாங்க
பச்சையும் தங்கமும்.

ரெம்ப நாள் சிநேகிதம் ..
சிறு ஹலோவில் ஆரம்பித்து
3 வருஷமாய்..தினம் தினம் ..

வீட்டிலே பெரிசுங்க தொல்லை.
அவங்க நொச்சு தாங்காம
வெளீலே சுத்தறேன்.
இன்னிக்கி ரொம்ப கத்திட்டாங்க
ரொம்ப சுத்தறேனாம்.
"ஒரு நல்ல வேலைதான் பாரேன்."

நல்ல மப்பு.ஒரே சிரிப்பு
எல்லாருமா சேர்ந்து வெளீல போனோம்.
பசங்க தான் கதவு திறந்து விட்டாங்க.

ஒருத்தன் கேட்டான்.
"உனக்கு honda crv எல்லாம் ஓட்ட வருமான்னு."

மவனே, இப்போ பாருடா...
ஒரே மிதில 120kph!
திரும்பி பார்த்துக் கேட்டேன்
சொல்றா, இது போதுமா?
இன்னும் கொஞ்சம் வேணுமா ?

பச்சையும் தங்கமும் வாயே திறக்கலே.

சுளீர் வெய்யில்
பசங்க எவனையும் காணோம்.
ஒரே மூத்திர நாத்தம்.
கம்பி கேட்டு
வெளீல இருக்கிரவ சொல்றா
"2 பேர கொன்னுட்டேனாம்,
4 பேரு மேல ஏத்திடேனாம்
வண்டி அப்பளமா நொறுங்கிடிச்சாம்"


ஐயோ!

Inspired by Nooria Haveliwala. For full story read:

http://www.mumbaimirror.com/printarticle.aspx?page=comments&action=translate§id=15&contentid=201001312010013102234160665fc798a&subsite=

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

COMMUNICATING BEYOND WORDS


"One can wait for results but not wait to take action"

All of a sudden, the above phrase came up as a part of the dialogue with my dad today.
It was a spontaneous statement, coming out of nowhere.
Fortunately, both of us caught the words, and there was a considerable length of silence between us.

Dad was pondering over the meaning those words conveyed.
I was pondering, (rather wondering) the communication itself.

It has been proven that, as adults we do not read a sentence letter by letter.
We read it in chunks of several characters, or words.
The fastest readers, read in chunks of several paragraphs even a page, in one go.

We HAVE the capability to transfer/assimilate information not restricting to just words, but the meaning, emotions, feelings and the EXPERIENCE, all in one go.

Any communication process involves:

Emotion/Feeling/Thought -T R A N S L A T E--> Words/pictures/music x=T R A N S M I T=x--- Words/pictures/music -R E C O N S T R U C T--> Emotion/Feeling/Thought

The best form of communication - Going beyond words, can be picturized as:

Emotion/Feeling/Thought ---> x=T R A N S M I T=x ---> Emotion/Feeling/Thought

But, how?

We know few people are good in communicating the content beyond words.

Thinking deep into it, I am getting more and more questions. And I am shooting it here into this Blog.

May be, if you are also left with more questions,then this has met its objective. :)

More on.. ""One can wait for results but not wait to take action" later..